The Term Paper

November 15, 2020 by 0

Err…okay term paper, due in tomorrow, 3000 words… That’s easy, I’ll add it to the to-do-list. “Term paper…” Also, take the rubbish out, get mega baked, watch the entire new season of black mirror- No! No distractions! It’s okay, you’ve got plenty of time. So… What’s the term paper about? American space program… Don’t know anything about the American Space Pro- Kerbal Space Program… What is that?? Oh it’s a game… Just download it, might be educational Great, okay, put that there, and that there and- no! Need to do the term paper. Two more minutes, alright, let’s try- Okay, how about- Okay, how about-

[Explosion] Hey… This is actually kind of fun… This is actually really fun… Wait, can I get to the moon?! Ha! Easy-peasy. Take that, NASA! Take that, the 60s! Take that, unflinching scientific curiosity! You. dick! Shit, getting late. Hmm… Day’s kind of over now, might as well call it a night… No! Do the term paper! There isn’t time. Maybe just have a quick drink? Bit of a pick-me-up… Mmph. Not bad. Euh. Don’t feel quite so stressed out anymore. Feel pretty bloody good, actually. How does alcohol wor- -OI! If you don’t do the term paper, they’ll kick you off the course! Aw yeah yeah yeah… If I don’t do this, I fail the course. But so what? Well, then you don’t graduate and you won’t get the career you want. But don’t we all just die anyway? What’s the point? Aren’t we all gonna be gone in a century? Aren’t our grandchildren gonna die too? Isn’t the sun going to consume the earth and the solar system, and eventually all the stars will wink out into oblivion, until the entire universe succumbs to heat death and then there’s nothing left forever, infinitely in all directions with no hope of recovery and no one to remember our pitifully short time on the planet. Isn’t this all ultimately nothing? [NARRATION INTENSIFIES]

Just a futile scream into the void before quietly going into oblivion?! Could just commit suicide, that would just solve the old term paper dilemma. Would I really do that just to avoid working? No, life must have intrinsic meaning. Look at all that beauty, look at all of our accomplishments, look at how much there is to live for, think of the thousands of years of progress ahead of us of journing into the stars of, throwing off the shackles of ignorance discovering the inner workings of matter of eventually living in harmony with the cosmos and the other species on the planet. Think about the odds of you just being born to begin with. The whole Universe untimely conspired to make you. ‘Course there’s purpose to life, be reasonable about this. Stay calm, get your shit done. There’s still plenty of time. Alright ^_^ So, here goes. Term paper. “4000 words!!!!?” WELL FUCK THIS!! I’m putting my head in the oven!!

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